Marriages are made in heaven but mostly executed in Hell! As shocking as it sounds it’s true. Except in very rare cases it stands correct to the core.Marriage be it arranged or love marriage being conned into it like a cow, feels demeaning. Today my blog is very different than my usual notes. I watched one my colleagues being traded for her genes to a compulsive flirt and a womanizer. It was several years ago that this brilliant girl had no affair in the five years of her university life. With a wonderful soft heart yet a very sharp but sensitive young girl who was tricked into marrying a stud who could never keep it in his pants.Looking at it from a neutral perspective she was one hell of a catch but someone that deserved to be held on to and not used like a reproducing machine and eventually divorced to look after the well bred race. Beyond doubt a match was carefully setup to lure this girl in to an official trap of marriage where each one knew they were being paired for the wrong reasons. Shamefully she remains with her kids whilst the stud is still looking for his pants where he left them last night. I have seen girls married to impotent boys just because of moral pressure they couldn’t say anything. The mothers despite knowing the truth force them into hell holes like these where they die each day in a never ending pain. I know a few of my colleagues who are often raped by their husbands. Although marital rape is being admitted as an offence i have asked a few scholars and the Islamic perspective on the matter is not clear to me so i will not be able to comment on that.Parents living abroad have general tendency to lie about their children and present them as saints with tremendous qualifications and the unique USP of a red or blue passport, whereas the truth most of the times is au contraire. A small and simple lie leads to a series of lies and thus generating problematic marriage that either end up with a spouse in depression or worse a divorce with a child split between two lives. My sympathy has always been with the child who is subjected to absence of one parent and sometimes both. Many of my colleagues were manipulated in to so called love in their college years having their international nationality being the only USP. I think its unfortunate how people manipulate each other in the name of tradition and marriage. Those who know me can vouch that my marriage has not been a bed of roses out of the 14 years we have spent together but i think its only fair you stick together if not for each other for your children who need both parents equally.
Kashif Moten 